It's odd

How I get annoyed by that one thing, then I turn around and do it myself.
O D D...
Anyways, these past couple of days have been intense. I've like found so much out and eh it doesn't effect me one tiny bit.
O D D...
So it's 2:00AM and my phone hasn't went off, and I know exactly why. It sucks, this is weird how I'm totally sad that we haven't talked.
O D D...
School starts soon and I'm hyped up like a crackhead who just scored some free crack.
O D D...
You know, I was thinking about it earlier, and I shouldn't be doing this. I don't need both, I only need one. But I don't want one so I'm going to keep both.
Well, thats what I thought I wanted, and now I'm actually thinking about leaving one behind.
O D D...
So now tell me, what was odd about that?

I think a lot

But I never really think about GOOD things or POSTIVE things. Its pretty weird actually. You know how they say the advice you give, is actually the advice YOU yourself need to take? I think thats 100% true. I mea, I've been told I've helped soooo many people, and I've directed them towards the right way, but then I look at myself and think,
How the fuck did I do that, when I'm a complete trainwreck myself?
But see, you wouldn't know that. I keep it all in my head, and I'm never letting anyone in. No matter how well you know me or how much you tell me, I will NEVER tell anyone what I'm really thinking or how I really feel. You might honestly think I'm insane, or think I'm pretty fucked up in my head.
You may think its sad, that I'm really two different people, but it keeps me happy. I have the outside me, who all my friends know and "love" but really I bet you they would HATE who I am on the inside. Its pretty god damn intense.

I'm a good writer, I write a lot. But you'll never see those either. I found a couple of my old poems and just little things I wrote down, and they made me cringe. So I could only inagine what they would do to somebody else.

Post Secrets has been my obsession for the past 4 months i would probably say. I want to submit one, but then I'm afraid that I'll never stop submitting them, or I'm scared that someone will figure out which one I wrote. Oh well...

.

Its not that bad.....Right?

Title:

As plain as a white paper,
As empty as a jar,
As noisy as a train,
As useless as a frog

Relieved,

Am I ever,
ahhhhhhhh I hated that feeling,
Sometimes mother-nature is a bitch, and sometimes she just likes to worry the fuck out of people and take her sweet ass time bringing her presents. That was my case..

All better now =]

Isn't It Grand?

Such high hopes for the future, now I'm blessed with the stress of just actually following through with them this time. I can't back out of this one, it's what I want the most.
And besides, what else am I good at?

Sometimes

I like to think I'm fine without you,
Then I see, of course I am.....
I'm better than ever before,
But for some reason I'd rather be miserable with you.

Goodnight Forever

Goodnight,
Sleep tight,
Don't let them eat your brain at night.

I don't believe

I don't believe you can say that,

I don't believe I can believe that,

I don't believe I'm buying it,

I don't believe I'm thinking that,

I don't believe I get happy when I think about you

I don't believe anything I say can be true,

I don't believe my eyes anymore,

I don't believe myself,

But i do believe IN myself, and let me tell you...

YOU WILL NEVER BRING ME DOWN.

So

I think I lost my instructions for my "life", can I have yours? Or do I have to just try to put this together myself? That can't be fun at all. No, I am NOT complaining, beause I have everything anyone could ask for...but what I find real funny is that I didnt ask for it. It sort of just fell into place, open eyes can see I have everything....yet I dont want it, so I shut my eyes. I make up struggles, and set myself up in crappy ass situations so that way I can actually LEARN something, and I wont take everything for what its not worth, but for what it IS worth. Sometimes I can close my eyes, think about things, and I get a smile on my face, but then I peek open one eye, and the smile quickly fades. I put myself here, now I have to get myself out. A L L B Y M Y S E L F, that ways I can say look I did it, all by myself....

A L L B Y M Y M O T H E R F U C K I N G S E L F

Then, I shall dig another hole, bury myself in it and start getting out all over again.
So maybe I don't need those instructions after all, just maybe I can do this alone...

I guess you can say

I'm somewhat a fake, I mean, sure I call myself that from time to time and it really doesnt bother me when people call ME that because chances are I dont like them anyways. But what DOES bother me, is this summer I've became everything I've always looked down on. Its really hard to admit that, so I dont. I just avoid answering the question...simple enough, right? WRONG! Because I still wake up, still thinking about everything and all I want to do is stop. But I cant stop, Its not my nature to stop, all I can do is keep going...and keep on living. Good or bad, at least I'm living and NOT just existing...So I guess that gets me by.

Dead

I can't feel anything on me at this point,
I want to sleep but I can't. I'm sore, I'm burnt, and now i sound like a complainer..
But its okay because it's what I live for.